Givers and Takers

It seems to me that the human race can actually quite EASILY be divided into two categories (actually there are probably several different binary divisions of that same biomass possible but I want to concentrate on this particular categorization today) - GIVERS and TAKERS.

Every one of us has been on one side of this divide AND the other at different times of our lives. None of us would, for example, have even survived the earliest part of our lives without being shameless Takers. After all there is precious little MATERIAL that a newborn gives to the world (well, not counting the mountains of human excrement of course). There are correspondingly moments in everyone's lives where they have been selfless Givers too. So one might quite justifiably argue that NO ONE is a Giver or a Taker but that we pass through these states at different times of our lives. This thought, coupled with the concept of “forgiveness” (which in turn is itself coupled with the concept of some value-judgment attached to one or the other of these states), confused me for some time in my life until recently it became more clear to me that these are not “better” or “worse” states or “right” or “wrong” states. They are simply STATES that one can be aware of and that one can adjust one's own actions towards. If one sees a charging bull and a dove one does not think one is right and the other is wrong. One simply adjusts one's own behavior and either runs for cover or reaches out. They are both creatures of the universe and no doubt they have a rightful place in that universe. But our actions towards them are different. In a steady-state universe there is a balance between Givers and Takers. After all how can one give without someone or something there to accept that action?

So now, armed with the realization that Givers and Takers are simply a classification of the human race, and not encumbered with any value-judgment about those who are one or the other, I can ask myself two questions:
(1)How can I easily classify those I know into one or the other from a purely anthropological point of view?
(2)If I can actually create some criteria that help me classify those I know into one or the other category what can I do with that information that would help me survive better?

The answer came to me recently in an interaction I had with someone in the business world. The classification is not based on the actions (which are so tangible and easy to measure, and which I still place a very high value on over the words of people). This particular classification is based on our own personal estimate of the INTENT of the person. Although this is often tougher to ascertain, I feel that it is in fact how our minds work.

I believe that GIVERS want to leave the world a bit better than when they came into it. Now sometimes they may take things from their environment but they have the genuine belief that this incurs some sort of Karmic debt and they feel a need to repay that debt in their lifetime. TAKERS on the other hand have the intent that they want to THEMSELVES be a bit better off than when they came into the world. Again, this doesn't mean that occasionally they won't do something for someone or show some act of kindness. But, at the core they believe that this somehow sets them back a small amount and they feel that somehow they deserve some compensation (preferably MORE compensation that thye have invested in the act of kindness) for this action. If one interacts with a person for some time it becomes clear on some intuitive level which philosophy they espouse. There is no set of ten questions that will help one decide (or at least I have not yet found them. If you have maybe you wouldn't mind sharing).

The ugly fact seems clear to me (based on where we are today in this world) that the universe is NOT in a steady state yet. Takers outnumber Givers or at least outperform them. This also makes evolutionary sense (survival of the fittest). But it doesn't make sense from the sustainability point of view. So what can people who self-classify as Givers (and don't we all think we are in that category) do about it? It seems to me we can do three things:
(1)we can work harder to do MORE for the universe we live in. I call this the “outperform” approach.
(2)We can try to find others who we genuinely believe to be other Givers and help them to achieve synergistic things with each other. I call this the “kindling the forest fire” approach.
(3)We can identify for ourselves those we believe to be in the Taker category and either try to win them over or run the other way from them. I call this the “survival” approach.

When I think back about my human interactions over my own lifetime I find that most of my grief in life has been because I misclassified someone into one of these categories or used one of these approaches with a Taker when I should have used another. I have used the third approach much too infrequently. From now on as soon as I firmly establish in my mind that someone is a Taker by the above definition, I will RUN the other way! Hopefully it will help me survive what I see as an increasingly tough world.