The "Join my network" disease

Has anyone noticed the recent upswing in requests to join someone's network on Linkedin or Facebook or is it that I suddenly have friends in places where I didn't even know there were places before? I have one contact who, together with his wife may account for about 10 to 20 announcements of new linkages made PER DAY!(sustained for the last 6 months or more) I know, I should simply turn off the RSS feed on my site if I don't want to get all of these tidbits. But ... in the good old days it was actually FUN to see who is connecting with whom. If it were still a serious effort to connect with people and do something with that connection (such as even update poeple about your life from time to time) it might be worthwhile. I know of a group who have simply made it a game to see who can "reach" the most people through this tool. It is really a bit of a shame and actually undermines the value of the tool. The original idea was to be able to check for common friends etc. when meeting someone new. I think that with 2400 in the list of this couple and climbing on a daily basis this could become a bit of a farce.

Now don't get me wrong, I am always flattered that someone asks to have me join their particular "exclusive" little network. But when you see that you are simply a part of a number counting game it could have the opposite effect. I think it all boils down to the economy right now and how that affects all of our self confidence and how THAT in turn can lead one to want to have a large "network" of "friends", but folks; there is SIMPLY NO EASY WAY TO MASS PRODUCE A REAL NETWORK. It is (as I have mentioned before) like planting a fruit tree when one is hungry and looking to eat the fruits before one starves.

I recall once when I had lost a job and someone decent tried to help me. Let's just call him John ... because his real name WAS John :). After he had helped me through the worst part of the initial loss and shock, John said to me "I want you to update me with your progress each month so that I can offer REAL help whenever I see the opportunity." I started writing to John each month summarizing my progress and emphasizing the POSITIVE things that had happened that month. Soon it became a daily goal to find something positive that I could put down on the note to John. Sometimes it was nothing more that the weather being exceptionally suitable for job hunting etc. But always there was something. The thoughts and observations often sparked some suggestions and encouragement and soon that changed my whole disposition. When I landed my next job, one day I was chatting with my new boss (with whome I have developed a lasting friendship over the years) and he mentioned that the REASON he had hired me was that he'd been struck by my incredible optimism even though I'd been on the job hunt for asome time at that point. It is possible that John actually DID help me find my next job after all! As time went on I encountered others who helpedme and seemed GENUINELY interested in participating in my life's journey. The "John list" has grown over the years and I now send out the same monthly note (no more that a few lines NOT like a Christmas letter!) to 56 people. THIS is my network. Luckily for me I have never had the need to tap into this network to get a job but I am sure that if I needed the encouragement and REAL help it would be THIS group who would give it and not anyone else. I would encourage those now engaged in the time-consuming task of simply increasing their contact network to spend the same time REALLY getting to know a small part of that group. THIS is the REAL network that will grow like a tree and shade you when you are scorched, feed you when you are hungry, and cover you in the storm. Who knew that simply old fashioned ideas may STILL be useful. Your thoughts and comments are (as always) most welcome.