The "Downsized" Disease

It always leaves me feeling the same way - sad for the state of the human race! All of us who have suffered the trauma of being terminated from a position for whatever reason know exactly what I mean and we have all vowed that WE would never do it to anyone else. I am referring to the contageous disease that society at large seems to think all those who lose their jobs for WHATEVER reason immediately contract. Those who still have a position seem to think that even eye-contact with the victim could immediately mark them too for this terrible affiction. They must all seem to feel that ANY association with people who have recently been "let go" from their organization (even private phone calls or personal e-mails) would be "found" and would mark them for the "kill" next time.

I have always believed in PEOPLE. They don't change suddenly if they are terminated. They are the same human beings that we knew, trusted, had lunch with etc. the day before. Their fate is not so uncommon these days and it could befall ANY of us. There is a wise saying about doing unto others... and I am always reminded of it when I see this behaviour.

I want to believe that this behaviour is the result of "not knowing" what to say and how to act with these folks. There is, on one side, a feeling of relief that it was THEM and not you. At the same time there is the guilty impulse that you don't want to show those feelings. One way to deal with this is to simply understand that YOU had nothing to do with the decision (unless you DID in which case you SHOULD think hard about how you handled the whole situation). I always try the direct approach. I say to the person "I am very sorry for your loss. I know you will bounce back because you are the same fine person today that you were yesterday to me. Let me know what I can do to help you in any way." I have found that this direct approach (of course followed with sincere actions to back up what I have just said) usually works and it cements a bond that is hard to break. The truth is that we will all be in such situations sometime. These moments help us find out the TRUE short list of REAL friends we have. And trust me, those are the friends we will help when their turn comes! The affliction is NOT contageous and it may actually be a good opportunity to make some lasting difference on earth.